The Naked Truth

Denise and I just returned from an excursion that included northern Spain, France and Ireland. The adventure involved dizzying heights, wonderful music, contact sports . . . and unexpected nudity.

We would not have left home had it not been for our friend and fellow Iowan, Terry Stewart. Terry had been a teacher, social worker and fire fighter. Now retired, he volunteers to help refugees and other impoverished people. For Terry, volunteer work does not merely fill the gaps between golf outings. He works harder and longer than when he was paid for his time. I have never met anyone as selfless and empathetic as Terry Stewart.

Terry also is a dedicated and fiercely loyal fan of the University of Nebraska football team. This proves what I have long said: Nobody, absolutely nobody, is perfect.

A few months ago Terry and I were on a Zoom call with some other friends of Hawkeye descent. In August, he said, he would be traveling to Dublin to watch his beloved Huskers play Northwestern. Would I care to meet him there?

Terry did not know that I do not much enjoy spectator sports. Moreover, I grew up in southwest Iowa when Nebraska was a football powerhouse. Somehow that inspired irrational antipathy towards the Cornhuskers.

Did I want to make my way from southern Spain to Ireland, a not inconsiderable journey, involving a not insignificant expense, just to watch Nebraska play football?

I caught myself saying, “Hell yeah!”

Two American football teams, each no more than an eight hour bus ride from the other, were flying cheerleaders and marching bands and seventy players across the Atlantic (and half the North American continent) so that they could meet in Ireland, the land of leprechauns, Guinness beer and soccer. For me, this was not about football. It was about witnessing the most illogical event ever devised by the minds of sports-addled men. This was something I had to see!

First, however, we had to get there.

Our journey, described in upcoming essays, involved fast cars, extortion and (as noted above) gratuitous nudity. Stay tuned!