Manhattan challenges cheap bastards in the same way a friendly Rottweiler might challenge a feisty Chihuahua. Which is to say, we cheap bastards pose no risk to Manhattan, which allows the borough to toy with us.
Continue reading “A Cheap Bastard Goes to Manhattan”A Cheap Bastard Goes to London
Our boat to the USA was to leave from Southampton. That is a city in England. England once governed America, but eventually we Americans revolted. This stemmed from England’s tax policy, which nobody in America could understand. The assessors all spoke with an indecipherable accent, called money “pounds,” and measured weight in “stones.” War was inevitable, and might have been lost but for the Brits’ baffling habit of driving on the wrong side of the road.
Continue reading “A Cheap Bastard Goes to London”My High Seas Trip, Part 3
Some alert readers have noticed that Denise’s Facebook posts suggest an idyllic ocean voyage, whereas my narratives paint a darker picture, one of two innocents seduced into the lower rings of Hell. Is one of us, maybe both of us, guilty of “fake news”?
Continue reading “My High Seas Trip, Part 3”My High Seas Trip, Part 2
My fellow passengers are old. Even older than me. People this age mostly talk about failing body parts. So today everyone is secretly delighted by yesterday’s rough sea. Instead of replaced knees or shoulders, or enlarged prostates, or inexplicable weight gain, people this morning discuss nausea and the side effects of sea sickness pills. They speak quickly and in a slightly hushed tone, excited by the new miseries they can dissect and publicly analyze.
Continue reading “My High Seas Trip, Part 2”My High Seas Trip, Part 1
Shhhh. We need to be very quiet. Denise isn’t feeling well.
We did our research before agreeing to cruise from England to New York. The North Atlantic can be rough in November, and we both have experienced sea sickness. Once of that is plenty.
Continue reading “My High Seas Trip, Part 1”The Call of the Attired
Here in Alicante the climate is virtually identical to that of Los Angeles, as is the population, assuming the year is 1912. That was when the City of Angels last matched present-day Alicante’s count of only 350,000 souls.
Possibly the idea of living in 1912 Los Angeles appeals to you. However, modern Alicante is not the same as turn-of-the-20th-century Southern California. Alicante today has faster and more reliable cars, for example, and way better Wi-Fi.
As much as we love it here, there is, to quote the great philosopher Dorothy Gale, no place like home. Once in a while we must return to the Motherland to see siblings and children.
Continue reading “The Call of the Attired”Two Cats in a Polish Dog Pound
We are walking from the main stage to the “tent stage,” a distance of maybe 200 yards. Two young men in their early-to-mid-twenties sidle up beside us, one next to Denise, the other to my right. In other circumstances the invasion might make us apprehensive but here, now, we are merely curious.
Continue reading “Two Cats in a Polish Dog Pound”Ruin in Hungary
If you were in Budapest during the week of June 20, 2023, you will have observed, first and foremost, how very European is this capital city. The buildings are, by American standards, short (no skyscrapers); and, also by American standards, interesting.
Continue reading “Ruin in Hungary”Getting Hungary on the Way to Poland
Denise and I were looking for European music festivals. We found one in Poland, called the Open’er Festival. Headliners include Kendrick Lamar, Lizzo, Arctic Monkeys, Li’l Nas X, and Sza.
Denise quoted the ticket price, which was quite reasonable. I looked over her shoulder and saw a reference to VIP tickets. “How much for the VIP tickets?” I asked.
Continue reading “Getting Hungary on the Way to Poland”DAN’S LETTER TO THE EPHESIANS
Dear Ephesians:
Back in the 1960’s, when I was a boy, the parish priest sometimes read to the congregation letters the apostle Paul wrote to you. The letters were polite, thoughtful, and well-written. Common courtesy would have dictated a response.
Continue reading “DAN’S LETTER TO THE EPHESIANS”