Binging on (or in) Benidorm

If you find yourself in a Spanish city you don’t like, your recourse is obvious. Travel a short distance. The neighboring city will be very different from the one you just left.

We live in El Campello. It is a sleepy little beach town, a coastal Mayberry. There are a few apartment buildings with 10 -14 floors; but if in September, or anytime between that month and June, you stroll along the evening beach promenade you may notice that the condo towers are dark. In each building only one or two apartments are illuminated. Owners of the others are back home, where they earn a living and drive their kids to school.

The lights come on in July and August. Our Spanish Mayberry then bustles with vacationers. Spaniards are exchanging a few weeks of insufferable Madrid heat for the relative cool of a villa or condo on a Mediterranean beach. The vacationers mostly will be clumped in family units that include moms, dads, and children.

If you drive along the coast about 25 miles you will arrive at Benidorm. You will not mistake Benidorm for Mayberry. Although it claims only 69,000 residents, the city has more than 140 buildings with at least twenty floors. This includes Intempo which, at 47 floors, is one of the tallest residential buildings in Europe.

Benidorm needs all these tall buildings to house tourists. Over eleven million people visit Benidorm each year. Eleven million!

By far, most of the foreign tourists are from the United Kingdom. You may wonder why so many Brits holiday in Benidorm. Favorable weather clearly plays a part. Benidorm enjoys more than 3,000 hours of sunshine each year. Winter temperatures rarely dip below 45°F, with the normal winter high being near 60°F. Summers are quite warm, but the highs usually will not exceed 90° F. On the other hand, El Campello and numerous other cities along the Costa Blanca boast the same favorable climate. There must be another explanation for this city’s popularity among the British. More on that later.

For now, let me demonstrate the extent to which Great Britain has influenced culture in Benidorm. Take, for example, these shots from a large indoor market just a minute’s walk from the beach:

Even Italian restaurants adopt English themes.

The British invasion has resulted in many cultural shifts. For example, the Spanish will walk past strangers without making eye contact, much less saying “Hola”. The Benidorm Brits, however, will strike up a conversation with just about anyone, or anything:

Unlike El Campello, Benidorm is busy year-round. This is a photograph I took in November, considered part of the low season:

As you can see, many of the visitors are, shall we say, mature. British retirees find that their pension checks stretch a bit farther in Spain. Every Fall and Winter day is like the British version of a massive AARP convention held at a beach resort.

While some locals gripe about tourists tippling a bit much, others are moved by the affection of British couples, such as this considerate gentleman driving his wife home while she naps:

I like this next video for the simple reason that it shows two mature women having a good time. Their laughter is contagious. Incidentally, however, note that they pass two mobility scooters. These are so common in Benidorm that some businesses have installed charging stations for the electric scooters.

Benidorm’s demographic changes in the summer, when Eton and other posh English schools release their students for vacation. This is when, as the great Lord Tennyson said, “a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.” Note the video below, in which both young men and young women reveal their fancies, all yearning for sweet romance, both sexes displaying the intricate mating rituals of today’s youth:

As mentioned above, Benidorm’s nearly perfect climate partly accounts for its popularity among the British. However, the city also benefits from a lot of free advertising. For ten years (ending in 2018) the BBC aired a popular program called Benidorm, a comedy which followed the adventures of British misfits on holiday in Spain. It is not at all politically correct, but it features well crafted slapstick and, sometimes, clever wordplay. You can find the first four or five seasons on YouTube. Here are a couple of clips:

Lest my friends Nigel and Oliver be offended by the above videos, which are not at all representative of the British people, I urge everyone to consider how easy it would be to obtain similar footage of Americans in Fort Lauderdale, another place where I would not want to live. And if I have offended any of the (approximately) 69,000 residents of Benidorm, I humbly and sincerely say that I am so very, very sorry you have to live there.

Well. This ended on a negative tone. I promise my next article will be bright and cheery! Hit the subscribe button and in a few weeks I’ll offer you a literary antidepressant!